Can I even get these thoughts out properly? I am fumbling over my words and my train of thought is all over the place. My brain processing is on power saving mode, so to speak.
I woke up on Tuesday Morning (6/18) with ease at 6 am. I had some chores I had to get done around the house and I made a valiant effort to get them done before heading out to work. I attempted to cut the grass in my backyard and pushing the mower used up way too much energy. My backyard is not very big at all and I only cut about half before I felt woozy and had to convince my husband to take over for me. I have been eating between 3-4 pm every day and nothing else for the remainder of the day. So, by the time I had tried to mow the lawn it had been 16 hours without anything at all to eat.
"Why I was cutting the grass at 7 am?" Well that is another topic for another day. I'm sure my neighbors just love me ☺ After some rest and several glasses of ice water I felt okay.
I made it though the another work day with moderate ease. Yet, when I got home I was ravenous. I was glad I saved my 3 falafels from yesterday because those were quick to reheat and use for my meal. I made a single crepe from 2 TBSP of flour of and water and I used one TBSP of my homemade hummus.
After eating my falafel and drinking several glasses of water. I was hungry. And when I mention hunger, I mean hunger. I thought I was "hungry" before embarking on this experience with the Ration Challenge, but no, those are were just merely cravings. The level of hunger I still had was almost at a level of desperation and to combat that I cooked up 2 more cups of dry white rice and made beans and at them. I also added half a beef stick. I was still very hungry but I convinced myself it was enough. At some points my mental fortitude is the only thing keeping me going with this.
Everything tasted delicious which I am solely attributing to my other-worldly level of hunger on a daily basis. My husband is not nearly impressed with my meals as I appear to be. He had so far tried a bite of everything I have consumed and has been far from impressed.
I also have been really worried about the real possibility that I would run out of food. Here is what I have left for the remaining of the week.
Several cups of White Rice (dry)
3.5 Beef Sticks
8 oz of Vegetable Oil
About 3/4 cup of Canned Red Kidney Beans
9 oz of lentil Beans (dry)
1 cup of Flour
1/2 cup of Prepared Hummus
I ended up hitting the hay at a very early 7pm. I could not keep my eyes open. I felt completely depleted of energy and I slept soundly.
Recap: I'm kind of used to being hungry through out the day at this point. Which is a sad thing to even write. No one should be accustomed to hunger, but that is a fact of the world we live in. When people struggle you would think that there is ample help to raise them when they falter. But that is not the case. I could not imagine trying to work a laborious job, or pay attention to learning in a constant state of hunger. When the mind's sole focus is when is the next meal, and if there will be enough. Open your fridge, do you have something to eat? Do you have excess? Do you have food that will go uneaten and end up in the trash. Do you have variety? Do you have fresh foods? When was the last time you had to eat burned food, just so that you had something to eat? My understanding of my privilege has never been greater and I feel sorrowful.
On a positive note. I have now collected $70 in donations for the CWS Ration challenge. That is enough to feed a refugee family for 3 months. Thank you!
If you would like to sponsor me in completing the ration challenge, and support refugees worldwide you can donate online here or you can mail a check payable to:
CWS Ration Challenge
P.O. Box 968
Elkhart, IN 46515
Administrative Assistant at Hamburg United Methodist Church
A 116 Union St Hamburg NY 14075